Saturday 19 April 2014

Five common reasons couples argue


By: Lizzie Cernik
However blissfully happy you are, it’s natural to have a few rows now and then. Even Romeo and Juliet would have had their “It’s YOUR turn to put the bins out” moments. So what are the most common reasons couples argue? And what can you do to minimise the damage?
1. Money
One of the biggest bug bears in many relationships, your attitude to money can be a make a break factor. Without similar spending habits a match made in heaven can quickly turn sour. If one of you is considerably more frugal than the other you’ll need to come to a compromise before fireworks fly. Try setting a weekly budget for each of you to sick to and see how you get on. Alternatively some couples spend freely but consult each other on particularly expensive purchases. (For example spending more than 1000 AED.)
2. Housework
If you’re a domestic goddess and his idea of cleaning is shoving dirty socks under the bed, you can bet it’ll lead to some rows. If one of you is not pulling your weight in the house, you may have to instigate a rota. It might sound a bit ‘primary school’ but if you can’t take fairly split up the chores without arguments, it could really help your relationships. Another option is to start doing some of the more unpopular jobs together. Spend on afternoon a week cleaning the house together then reward yourself with dinner out.
3. Children
Fantastic as they are, children can put pressure on any relationship. It’s important you agree who will be doing what at the start of each week so there’s no room for dispute. If you can’t agree on discipline, try to maintain a united front when you’re with the children or they’ll be running rings around you. It’s really important you discuss everything and communicate as much as possible to solve all your little niggles. And don’t forget to take time out, both individually and as a couple.
4. Work
Hectic schedules can be the kiss of death for couples. Even if you live in the same house it’s not always easy to spend quality time together. Make sure you’re putting each other first and plan fun activities to do together. If your other half has been particularly stressed out with work, try to be patient. Remind yourself that his busy spell won’t last forever and take the opportunity to see friends when you can. If it’s you that’s feeling the pressure, try not to take it out on him. Even if he’s failed on washing up duty and you’re late back, take a deep breath, count to 10 and discuss rationally. You’ll get a better response.
5. Flirting and exes
Jealousy can cause major rows in a relationship. If you’re feeling an attack of the green eyed monster, talk to friends and family before you jump into an argument. They’ll be able to tell you if your reactions are rational or whether you’re just being silly. If an issue is causing serious problems, for an example a boyfriend regularly meeting his ex, take the time to sit down and discuss it with him. If he’s flying off the handle whenever you speak to another man, take the same approach. Ask a trusted friend of family member before diving in at the deep end.

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