Top 10 ways to a man’s heart

By: Hugh Wilson

It’s nearly That Day. Here are 10 ways to make Valentine’s Day - and every day - extra special this year.

t’s nearly Valentine’s Day, when the love quotient is as high as the Valentine’s mark-up in your local bistro.

But how do you make this Valentine’s Day special? And in particular, how do women find a way into the flinty cold hearts of men?

It’s not easy, but it is possible. And in the spirit of joyful giving that is surely the very essence of love, here are our top 10 ways to a man’s heart. Point your girlfriend in this direction and have a Valentine’s Day (and many other days) to remember.

Get his adrenalin up

Thinking of booking a quiet, romantic restaurant for two this Valentine’s Day (or any day, for that matter)? Well don’t. Or at least not always. Think action rather than entrees, says match.com relationship expert Kate Taylor.

“Men thrive on excitement, and love does too – many studies have shown that adrenaline actually boosts the amount of attraction people feel for each other,” she adds. “There’s not much white-knuckle action to be found in a romantic restaurant, so if you’re booking a Valentine’s date with your guy, think all-action: laser quest, horror film, flight-simulator, paintball, or theme park.”

Give him space

Remember, it’s Valentine’s Day, not Valentine’s Week or even Valentine’s Weekend. Planning or expecting the romantic treatment for three nights on the spin is going to be annoying rather than enchanting.

The same is true for the rest of the year. Men need space (as do women, to be fair). They need time with their mates, and that means regularly rather than the occasional one-off. Before you plan away his every weekend make sure he doesn’t have other ideas. And if he does, accept them.

Make him laugh

You know that oversized teddy bear card with the two cute kissing teddies? He’ll hate it. Men like their romance served with a large dollop of humour.

“Don’t give in to your urges to send him a card festooned with poetry, teddy bears, and/or blurry photos of couples walking on a beach,” says Kate Taylor. “Remember your target audience – he’s male.”

“Instead, keep things light and fun by choosing a card and present that will make him laugh. You can always whisper your heartfelt mushiness later on; just don’t get it printed.”

That’s pretty good advice for romantic gestures year-round, too.

Take it away

If you’re in charge of the V Day organising this year, but you can’t afford to book a restaurant, get a takeaway instead. He’ll love it.

I know, it’s hardly romance central. But trust us, takeaway is a man’s best friend, particularly during the week. At any time of year, a surprise takeaway can seem like a gift from the gods.

Are we overdoing it a bit? No. A takeaway is not just about the food, it’s about the avoidance of cooking and washing up (as a Valentine treat, use paper plates!) on a cold winter evening after a long day at work. Seriously, there’s nothing a man likes more than anticipating domestic drudgery and having it whipped away with one wave of your magic MasterCard.

Wear nice lingerie

We know, we know. How obvious can we be? It’s just that this one is worth repeating. Your sexuality turns him on, and lust is a great leap on the ladder towards love. Yep, that’s right, one of the ways to his heart is through your bra. Hey ho.

(Oh, and this one definitely shouldn’t be confined to Valentine’s Day.)

Keep it private

More good advice from Kate Taylor about Valentine’s Day. “Avoid any temptation to send cards or presents to him at work,” she says. “Not only is it territorial, but it’ll get him teased daily until 2025.”

That’s pretty true at all times. Public displays of affection should be kept brief and rare. You know the couple who are always snogging in the bus queue and groping at the supermarket checkout? Well, she may not be embarrassed about it, but he almost certainly is. Keeping it private makes it more special, and less humiliating.

Use random compliments

Make Valentine's Day special by letting him know how good he’s looking. Make every day special by throwing a random compliment in his direction. He’s looking more toned. Those jeans really suit him. He’s a great listener (after you’ve yapped on for an hour about your mother).

Actually, scratch that. A random compliment every day will begin to look pre-planned, and you want to give the impression of an impromptu thought (“Wow, you have lost weight!”). But every now and then a random, out-of-the-blue compliment will work a treat with most men. We like to feel appreciated. We like to feel the effort we put in is noticed. And we also like to feel like the hottest guy in the pub - once in a blue moon at least.

Be appreciative

“The biggest gift you could give your man this Valentine’s Day is simply looking thrilled with whatever he does for you,” says Kate Taylor. “Most men resent the enforced-romanticism demanded by February 14th, so if they’ve made any effort at all, it’s to be applauded. This will set you apart from every other girlfriend he’s ever had, and it’ll ensure that next year he tries even harder.”

Again, this works well beyond Valentine’s Day. Men spend an awful lot of time assuming they’ve got it wrong. Let him know he's got it spot on (whatever ‘it’ happens to be) and he’ll love you for bringing out the best in him.

Make an effort

Look good this Valentine’s Day. Maybe book in a haircut or a pampering session. Have a swim. Put on the outfit you know he likes. Glam up.

One way to a man’s heart is to keep looking as good, if not better, than the moment he first saw you. Keep reminding him that his eyes were not deceived by low light and a pint too many: you really do look that good. Avoid the mistake of thinking that once you’ve pulled off the initial “wow” you don’t have to make an effort.

Sexist? No. You can expect him to do the same and have every right to complain if he doesn’t.

Fly by the seat of your pants

Don’t know what to do this Valentine’s Day? Book a last-minute weekend away to Paris. Can't afford it? Book a last-minute spa day. Can’t afford it? Drag him up to bed the minute you - or he - gets home from work.

Many men want to know that settling down won’t mean the end of excitement, surprise and adventure. One way to his heart is to convince him that life with you will never be dull, and that routine - though necessary much of the time - is always there to be broken.

So there you have it: 10 ways to win his heart, or strengthen your bond, this Valentine’s Day. But remember that they’re all for every other day of the year, too.